If you're familiar with Dave Chappelle's stand-up, then you know about the "whore's uniform." My favorite comedians are the ones that make a point when they're making fun. The "whore's uniform" alludes to a very valid point that I'm sure several comedians have touched on in the past, but it is still prevalent today: how a girl dresses should dictate who a girl is. Now, I'm not saying that a girl can't be stylish if the style is risque. BUT, every good knows where the line between fashionable and trashy is drawn. Even on Halloween, where the line becomes drunkenly blurred, a girl can be provocative & sexy without throwing up a white flag ("I give it up") and flashing a green light ("go get her").
If you're a female and you're thinking, "johnny, why don't you tell me where this line is?", then I respond to you "Gurl, I was going to. Don't be a skanky AND impatient. Those are the 2 tell-tale signs of a whore."
-Example 1: High Skirts
-Example 2: Low-cut tops (more applicable to big C's and above)
-Example 3: Pasties
-Example 4: Fishnets
Now that we've determined what the whore's uniform looks like, we must then discuss what the whore's uniform dictates. Or more blatantly, what the uniform says about you. Plain and simple, it says that you are "D.T.F." There's no sophisticated, politically correct way to say it. You look like you're down to f*ck. You've heard it time and time again, "men are simple." Some of us think on a higher plateau, some of us are more intellectually developed, but when it comes to relationships, the common denominator is Simplicity. Our needs, desires, and intentions may differ, but we all think of it in simple terms. And you know this. You should know this. Any woman who has ever complained about men should know this. Mainly, because you complain about the same sh*t: why are men such dogs? Blame it on evolution, baby. You get the perks of a better mind, we get the pitfalls of a dirty mind. Your brains develop faster, our brains stay on the pussy platform. Not much development after we learn to pipe. So knowing you're dealing with this rudimentary being, why the hell would you dress in a way that supported the idea that you're easy? If my thesis was "This girl is D.T.F.," your outfit would be the concrete detail... actually, your entire would be a large portion of my essay right next to your promiscuous MySpace pictures.
Oh, man... don't even get me started on MySpace pictures (See Lady MySpace pix for that rant). In relation to this, your uniform in those pictures directly reflect how men are going to treat you. Your pictures are saying, "I dress like this because I act like that." So as men, we're going to hit you up trying to beat the cheeks. If your pix really aren't that bad, then most guys will be a little more tactful in their approach. Now, I know most guys use the Caveman Craft, but a high majority will be more suave with their approach. But if your pix DO depict yourself as a sex fiend, then a majority of the comments/messages will be as simple as we are: "wuddup ma! wen u gon lemme hit it?!" And that's how they should be, you nasty nasty girl! Ha! There's only one way to low key prevent that, and even THAT, will not help: a boyfriend. Why am I still getting all these damn messages if I'm "In A Relationship"? Well Jersey Whore, it's because your pictures are sooooo bad, most guys think you are so DTF you would cheat on your man. Now I'm all for women's lib, but if your man is okay with those pictures being up, something is wrong with him. And if he has had that fight with you, and you still keep those pictures up, don't be surprised when you see his Inbox and catch him having textual intercourse. You basically dared him, nay pushed him, to do it. He should cheat on you. He will cheat on you. You're sexy, yes, so he will coming running back to you. But unless you chance your devious ways, it will continue to happen as long as your billboards are up. Ya dig?!
In summation, the way you dress is the way you advertise yourself. And if you're promoting for porn, don't be surprised if guys do everything short of wave their dick at you. In fact, you shouldn't even be allowed to call the cops if a guy actually DOES pull his dick on you. You like dick. You know you like dick. We ALL know you like dick. Embrace it like your fellow porn stars.
"Don't fight it, just ride it." - Johnny Rockit
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